Categorically I will lay my life down for the people I
love.
She said that with a spirited grunt that slithered
down the spines of everyone in the room.
That’s non-committal she said
No it isn’t he said
Yes
No
Maybe then
Okay
That’s how everything is ending up these days. We
argue and then we make up and we achieve nothing. Really, we achieve nothing.
Nothing. Do you know how painful it is to achieve nothing? There is this vast
void – can you see it? – that opens up when we fight. When we kiss and make up
it’s still there; you just can’t escape it. It gets all awkward and hot and
stuffy and no one can tell whether this is a lover’s tiff or a permanent strike
of lightning that will separate us forever. I don’t know if I want us to
separate or not. Maybe it would be better if we did, because then Global
warming might stop.
Did you know that Global Warming has nothing to do
with pollution? Well, not the pollution you’re thinking of. Global Warming is
caused by these little lover’s quarrels. To be honest, I didn’t think that a
little void between two inseparables was such a bad thing. Do you think it is?
Well you should. The void grows and grows and gets bigger and bigger and soon
the words 'grow' and 'big' do not suffice and 'suffice' is irrelevant because nothing
suffices. Nothing, nothing can penetrate that void except for the etiolating
arms of the lovers themselves. So every time a pair of lovers split at the
seams and then try and make up, they send threads of bright furious love, or so
it’s called, across the great tear, to try and fix it. But the tear is like
shredded metal and you can’t fix metal with love. So the threads have to be
really really hot and really really strong. The people who don’t last are the
ones whose threads are too weak to bridge the void. The people who do are the
ones who, well, who do.
But see here; the people who just rip all these gashes
into the material of the universe, and leave them dangling, open and raw, are
the ones who set the scene for global warming. They leave their silly little
attempts at threading their tear back together hanging in the void, sending out
little shivers of warmth that rattle the metal fabric and excite it into some
sort of temperature increase, but really give it false hope. If you heat the
metal repeatedly, again and again, it loses its strength and eventually it
starts to shatter. At first there is just one miniscule crack, but soon that
crack sends out runners and the runners send out sprinters and the sprinters
break records and every dasher comes tumbling down in a feeble collapse of the
frame of one little niche of the world.
Even the lovers contribute to Global Warming. No pair
of lovers is without a few tears in the fabric of their relationship: it’s in
the laws of love and friendship and marriage and all of that emotional verbiage
and pleonasm. They make their little tears and 'fix them real quick.' They fix their 'lil
ole tears' with scalding dishes of white hot “make up” sauce. Sauce? Sauce.
Gravy maybe. Possibly custard. It all depends on the couple. They fix up their
little issues by drowning them in love and make up stuff. They fill the
bottomless void. They FILL the BOTTOMLESS VOID. That’s not possible. That’s
what you think. It isn’t really possible. It can carry on for a millennia,
maybe, potentially, a scrap longer - but
what happens when all that burning stuff heats up all the molecules of the void and melts the void and
everything around the void?
It will melt the tear and tear the tear and scare the
tear into tearing itself into a bigger tear that will make the fabric of the
universe tear up. The universe will heat up. The universe will cry. All this
rubbish they teach you about Global Warming and Climate Change is verbiage. Global Warming is caused by love, divorce,
love, pain, love, hurt, love, everything else. Love is just this little guy in
a big world and yet he can melt the world and divide the world and tear the
fabric of the world. The world is green, blue, black – love is red. When the
two mix, you get BROWN. Sludge brown.
Will I still lay down my life for the people I love?
Or am I already killing them with my love?
